Living on a sailboat comes with a lot of challenges. I was always convinced that I am able to do anything that a man can do. Working on a farm already taught me that men are stronger than I am. I just cannot lift 50 kilos, already 30 make me struggle. That was bothering me quite a lot. I never wanted to be “only” the woman next to my man. Alex and I had quite often discussions when I got pissed because he wanted to help me carrying something. It took me forever to realise that there are some points that he can do so much better than I can.
Easy to say, but how does it work?
Then I read so much on Instagram and Pinterest about self-love. Love yourself and all your problems shall disappear. Well, easy to say. What does that actually mean? It took a while then I started listening to that little voice in my head and what she is actually saying to me. Soon I recognised that I am pretty harsh to myself. Rarely something is good enough and also I recognised that I need the approval of others to feel good. In this case, Alex is the one who has to praise my work and being. The more I feel insecure the more I need him or anyone else to praise what I’ve done. Unfortunately, Alex is really not that kind of guy. “Saying nothing is praise enough”, he states. Hmpfr, tough luck for me.
I realised that I love baking, cooking and feel like having a monopoly at the laundry. When we meet other sailors and start talking the topic soon comes to all the problems on boats and there are loads. Engine, electrics, not working devices, outboards and so on. As Alex is a walking lexicon when it comes to all of this soon he is the one talking and I sit there looking nice. On our boat, he is the one who repairs stuff, who makes plans and improves basically everything. So where is my place apart from sex and company? This is a tough one. Honestly.
Realise your strengths
So, what are my advantages? I bake, cook, clean, do the laundry and take care for our blog svassai.wordpress.com (in German). Okay, I do also a lot of painting, vanishing and little stuff. Doing this I keep his back so he has time to take care for the engine. I keep contact with all our friends and the family. Might not be as crucial as fixing the engine, but I have my parts. I am important on this boat. Important for him, at least I hope so.
Also, I start talking nicely to myself. If no one else is doing it, I praise myself. The way I was talking to myself, I would have never talked to my friends. The first step of my self-love. I remember me before living on a sailboat. I had a fairly good life before Alex, I was self-reliant and had lots of friends who like me for who I am. Why should that have changed? I still have a lot of friends who like me for who I am. And when my friends who I love and admire so much like me, why should I not like myself as well? Just try it. It can’t hurt, can it?
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